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Elephants, the room was full of elephants, big, toy elephants, small, model elephants, wooden elephants, plastic elephants, pictures of elephants. Everywhere I looked there was an elephant’s trunk or an elephant’s tusk or an elephant’s bottom looking back at me. I counted at least 35-40 elephants in that room.
She’d not talked about elephants for the whole evening. It was strange for someone who had a room full of the animal not to bring them up in conversation.
 ‘Elephaaahaherher...’ I said as I heard her come into the room. I looked around to see her standing in front of me wearing no clothes and smiling the prettiest smile you could imagine. I stepped forward and kissed her, tasting the toothpaste on her tongue. My hands moved over her skin, exploring her shapes, her hand was on my neck pulling me even closer to her.
We had sex like only strangers can, it was wild and passionate, without a care, but something was missing – knowledge. I didn’t know what she liked, and she didn’t know what I liked, so we were guessing. It was like we were having sex with our previous partners while making love to each other.
As we lay there smoking a cigarette and feeling satisfied I looked around the room.
‘So why all these elephants?’ I asked.
‘Every time my husband goes on a trip, he brings me back an elephant,’ she said, it was the first time she’d mentioned her husband.
‘You’re married?’ I said, and then noticed the male things around the room. Funny how you miss things like that when you have other things on your mind.
‘Does it matter?’ she asked. It didn’t really; I always knew this was going to be a one-night stand.
‘So why are so many facing the wall?’ I asked.
‘Sometimes I feel bad,’ she said. ‘An elephant never forgets. So if I’ve had sex with another man while Charlie is away, I can’t look at the elephant he gives me.’

I looked around the room, I was impressed - this woman had a lot of elephants facing away from her.


  1. Then he realised how many times she betrayed her husband

  2. They could be called “ WTF elephants“...